Lovers’ fights cannot be ruled out of a relationship.
It is the regularity of these fights that decide whether your relationship is healthy or not, not their mere occurrence.
So when you and your partner have to argue out issues and trash out difficulties in the relationship, you should always bear in mind that finding a solution to the issue is the ultimate. The more issues you overcome, the lesser the hurdles you’ll have to climb and ultimately if you are patient, if you communicate effectively and always stay focused on trashing out problems and not each other, being in the relationship will become smooth sailing.
Below we list some relationship problems that do not have to break your relationship apart:
1. When to start referring to each other as ‘we’
When your relationship gets to a stage where you and your partner refer to the future in terms of ‘we’ instead of ‘I’, it shows that you are both looking beyond the present, and have a unified mindset to be together for a long time.
But if your partner has yet not gotten to this place mentally, and you wish they were, it could make you feel scared and bothered and some type of way. But this is not enough reason to break up the relationship.
“When couples experience setbacks during that transition because they are trying to embrace an interdependent mindset, it is actually a sign of health,” says Dr. Anthony Chambers, a clinical professor of psychology and director of the Center for Applied Psychological and Family Studies at Northwestern University told NBC News.
Just give it time, communicate and it’ll likely happen sooner rather than later.
2. Getting used to parenthood
“Relationship satisfaction goes down for all couples during the transition to parenthood. Most divorces happen during [this time], so have realistic expectations and seek help to learn strategies to cope,” Chambers explains.
“Like a bank account, you want to have enough relationship points in your account to handle the inevitable withdrawals.” she adds.
3. Issues on social media use
Instead of rushing to take the highway out of the relationship, make sure you have a conversation about what your rules of engagement are on social media before either of you get offended.
“This couple’s challenge is to use that setback as an indicator that they need to work together to create relationship boundaries that help them feel both safe and independent,” says Dr. Alexandra Solomon, a licensed American clinical psychologist and
“Different couples have different boundaries around this stuff so the only way to figure it out is by working together.”
4. Dwindling sexual desire
Feeling hot for each other could simmer down to a candle flame over time in any long term commitment. But that doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed. “Early months of a relationship are fueled by sexual desire that feels effortless and organic. One of the most destructive romantic myths in our culture is that if sexual chemistry changes for a couple, it means their relationship is bad, wrong or doomed,” Solomon explains.
“It is normal and expected for sexual desire to slow and shift as a couple settles in to commitment and routine.”
5. Really different personalities
Rather than being judgemental, be objective when your partner is not so like you in their approach to life and love. So far your values align, methods do not necessarily have to. That is why there are different love languages, indicating that people’s preferences differ and it is OK for it to be like that.
“I like to have couples use the newspaper test, meaning if you put this argument on the front page of the [paper] you would find thousands of people who agree with partner A, thousands who agree with partner B, and thousands who disagree with both. Remembering that can help you approach your partner with more humility and avoid the ‘right and wrong’ argument.” Dr. Chambers tells ABC.
“It is also important to be humble when discussing differences with your partner. You may prefer doing something a certain way but that is all it is — a preference,” Dr. Chambers explains.
10 signs you are dating a mammy water. Guys, you really should see this, No.3 will scare YOU!
Signs you are dating a mammy water: This is for all the guys who pick up random girls on the streets without knowing anything about them. Here’s how to know if you are sharing your bed with a mammy water:
- You picked her up from the street or some other random place. Maybe she was even standing in front of an uncompleted building..
- You don’t know her surname. She told you her name is “ Just Julie”..
- She agreed to sleep with you on the very first day, in fact she moved into your house, no questions asked.
- She never gets tired. She can pound yam, fry garri, grind pepper with a stone and still sleep with you when she finishes.
- She always looks perfect, even first thing in the morning. No pimples, her make-up looks permanent and everything is always in the right place.
- Her Brazilian hair looks natural. It really looks like her hair but maybe salons have found a way to remove natural hair and put it back later.
- She never talks about her family and she doesn’t have any friends. You only hear her saying “My sea sisters” sometimes at night but you’re not bothered because girls call themselves all sorts of things.
- Ever since you started sleeping with her, your life has turned upside down but of course your stepmother in the village is to blame.
- She has stopped you from eating fish. Ever since she came into your life, it’s only chicken or meat, nothing that comes from the sea.
- She doesn’t ask you for anything. In fact, she’s every Nigerian boyfriend’s dream. You don’t pay for human hair or internet subscriptions and she doesn’t even want iPhone. She doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day and you don’t even know her birthday sef. She never gets jealous or goes through your phone and she couldn’t care less about your Facebook password. In fact she’s the best!
If the girl you’re with falls into all these categories, you better wake up my guy, NA FISH SHE BE!!!
Boyfriend With These 7 Beautiful Qualities, Please Marry Him
Sometimes, the perfect guy is right in front of you and you, shrouded by all your brittle insecurities and hovering fears are reluctant to go the extra mile with him. Your past has scarred you so badly that you don’t know what to believe. You can’t seem to trust the truth in someone’s words. You think that Love is a lie and something that does not exist for everyone. Well, if you don’t believe in something, you will never be able to find it. Take a risk, it might destroy you but isn’t life all about self-destruction? People die and resurrect every day from the ashes of their past. If you have a boyfriend who does the following things, you should definitely hold on to him forever. Trust him to be the guy who touches your naked soul and makes you feel alive.
1. He fights for you at times when you don’t even want to fight for yourself
If you ever find such a guy who chooses you every day even when you think that you are not worth someone’s love, please wake up from your slumber and realize what you have before it’s too late. Sometimes people don’t believe in themselves until a certain someone starts believing in them.
2. He is your home!
What is a home? A home is not a construct; it is much more than that. Home is place where you belong. You can travel around the globe but at the end of the day you will return to that one place where you will feel safe. Some relationships have to face hardships and people have to live apart from each other. Things can become very hard and distance is detrimental for a healthy relationship. However, if you feel, in your heart that without this guy’s warm embrace, you will always feel lost, then he is your home. No distance in this world can keep you apart from each other. You have a much deeper emotional connection.
He makes you feel secure and safe around him. He makes you feel secure about your surroundings. When we are at our home, we can eat what we want, we can blabber weird stuff and we can be ourselves. When you do all those things around a guy and he still loves you then you’ve got a keeper. You should feel lucky.
3. He loves your originality
Sometimes, there are guys who will try to change you. They want you to be someone who is acceptable to the society. Someone that is acceptable to the society. They have no regard for your originality whatsoever. They just want you to be a clich and they want you to adapt yourself to the societal stereotypes.
Every person is a different person. They all have their own weird stuff and unorthodox behavior and no one should be allowed to change that. If you have a guy who accepts you for who you are and doesn’t compel you to be someone else just for the sake of acceptance from this judgmental society, he is someone you can grow with. He is someone you can put your trust in. He is not someone you just push away just because you feel that what he’s doing is real. Sometimes our whole lives turn out to be a lie because we are reluctant to accept the truth when it reveals itself.
When a relationship starts, it’s all sunshine and rainbows. There a lot of things that you don’t know about the other person. Every human has subjective curiosity but when we know about a person completely, we start to lose interest. When there’s nothing left to talk about, we get bored and the relationship just becomes a dull routine. However, if you have someone in your life whom you can share your silence with, trust me, you have something that people search for their whole lives but are never able to grasp it.
When he can talk to you with his eyes and listen to you when you’re not even uttering a word, you have finally found someone who can tolerate you for the rest of your life. You are just sitting next to each other and there is this sweet comfortable silence and you are in love with their presence, which is what true love is. Love is not about saying the right things or being a sweet talker, love transcend any logical explanation and nothing is rational about finding happiness in someone’s silence.
5. No fight or argument is stronger than the relationship
We all know that there are fights in a relationship. Everyone has their own different opinions and two people in a relationship will not always agree on everything. They are not meant to. I have met many girls who say that they love their boyfriend because he agrees with them on everything they say. That is just nonsense. There will be arguments and there will be a lot of screaming and shouting. When your boyfriend knows when to stop and is aware that if he crosses this thin line, he will do irreparable damage to your relationship and sacrifices his ego for the relationship, he truly does love you.
He doesn’t care about some small thing that incited him. He doesn’t want to verbally or emotionally abuse you ever. He apologizes to you even though it wasn’t his fault because he can’t stay mad at you for long. It is truly a beautiful thing when someone kills his own ego for the one person he loves. It is a very romantic gesture and not many people are capable of it. You should never take such a person for granted and love him with all your heart because he deserves it. He has worked for your love for years and it’s not easy for him at times and he needs your support.
6. His Love is unconditional
There is no emotional blackmail in love. When someone loves you, they accept you with all their heart. They don’t make you beg and take you for granted. If a guy loves you despite your imperfections, he knows the true meaning of love. Some people just frustrate other people without any reason.
They don’t make you feel wanted. They always give you mixed signals. Sometimes relationships are just based on lust. If the guy feels horny, he will become a whole other person and love you and entice you. He will fool you into thinking that he really does love you. However, if you don’t fulfil his sexual desires, he will pour the blame on you and make himself the victim. If a guy loves you unconditionally and isn’t just there with you for his own personal desires, he loves you more than you can imagine.
7. He makes you a part of his life
Everyone needs privacy and personal space. In a relationship, we all know that in order for our individuality to grow, we have to look after ourselves from time to time and our partner should allow that. However, we shouldn’t just disconnect our partner from everything in our lives. We shouldn’t make major decisions of our life without even consulting our partner. If a guy tries to adjust you in his life and makes an effort to make the people he loves adapt around you, he wants you with himself for a very long time. He sees a future in which you two are together. He doesn’t make major choices of his life without thinking about you.
He knows that his life choices will directly affect your life and he doesn’t want to force you into a life which wasn’t based on mutual consent. He knows that your opinion and your decisions matter as much as his and he would never take a step without taking advice from you. He knows that you are his confidant and you wouldn’t want anything that would make you two have regrets in the future. A guy who wants you for an eternity has all these qualities but most of all he has faith in you. He has faith in you when no one else really does. It’s because people don’t know you like he does.
They just know as much about you as you permit to reveal about yourself in front of them your guy knows that even if at times when you fall short, he will be there to help you out. He does not fear the struggles of life. The only thing he fears is that maybe someday you will drift away from him. Sometimes, these thoughts just pop up in his mind out of nowhere and you need to make him believe that this is not true. These are just misconceptions and you are going to prove them wrong together. Whatever it takes, you are going to face.
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