There are so many of us who dream about walking
down the aisle as our Prince Charming lovingly stares
into our eyes. In the midst of the fantasy, we tend to
forget real life isn’t as picture perfect as our pretty
The truth? Happy endings aren’t something we
happen to stumble upon. They’re a product of
devotion and unfaltering diligence. There’s just no
such thing as a short cut to wedded bliss.
If you’re not fully prepared for the trials and
tribulations of marriage, you might eventually find
yourself in the throes of a divorce court. And believe
us – it isn’t a bed of roses.
So before you even THINK about getting engaged,
here are 21 things you NEED to know about you and
your other half.
1. Your Partner’s Religious Beliefs: No matter
whether you’re religious or not, it’s always
important to know where you and your partner
stand when it comes to faith. Where does your
partner fall on the religious spectrum? Do their
beliefs align with yours? How do you feel about
their religious outlook? These are the important
questions you need to ask yourself before
accepting his proposal. If you don’t, things could
get rocky later on.
2. Thoughts On Political Issues: If you’re more of
a liberal gal while he skews conservative, give
that some serious thought. Sure, it’s true that
opposites attract. However, that doesn’t mean
you’ll have lasting power. When it comes to hard-
hitting political issues, being on opposing sides
can cause serious friction. It’s up to you to decide
if your relationship and possible marriage can
withstand the strife.
3. Career Goals: Two people who possess two
different levels of ambition can spell trouble in
the future. Know where the other is hoping to go
career-wise to avoid being disappointed and
possibly resentful later on. Sometimes people
feel threatened by a go-getter partner. If either
one of you fit the bill, handle that – stat.
4. Relationship History: In order to successfully
move forward, you have to know where your
partner came from. This definitely includes past
relationships. You want to make sure there aren’t
any bad relationship habits lingering. Aside from
that, it’s nice to get a clear understanding of why
things didn’t work out with their exes.
5. If/When You’ll Have Children: Something to
keep in mind: not everyone wants to have
children. Find out if your partner is hoping to
have a family of their own and when they plan on
making it happen. A topic of this magnitude
should be broached ASAP.
6. Spending Habits: Is your partner good with
money? Does he/she spend money on frivolous
things, leaving no cash to pay rent and bills?
That’s a MAJOR red flag.
7. It’s NOT just a huge party: Yes, the wedding
planning can be exciting (albeit stressful). But the
marriage itself is NOT a huge party that
concludes with endless sleepovers. Sh*t gets real
super fast. So be prepared!
8. You WILL Disagree… and that’s OK. You’re two
individuals trying to merge into one; it’s bound to
result in quite a few arguments. While there’s no
denying how stressful that can be, it’s not the end
of the world OR your relationship. The key is
knowing that the conflict needs to be resolved
and not swept under the rug.
9. It’s Okay To Still Have A Life Outside Of Each
Other: Never allow either one of you to lose sight
of who you are. Your monthly lunch with the
girls? Keep that going. Him having a beer with his
boys every now and then? A necessity. Don’t try
to stifle your partner’s “me” time. That’s a major
10. The Ring Doesn’t Make You His Boss: To
expand on our previous point, you shouldn’t ever
aim to control anyone, especially not the person
you plan to spend the rest of your life with.
Having a ring doesn’t make you his boss. He’s still
entitled to his own thoughts, opinions, and
livelihood (and vice versa).
11. When To Say You’re Sorry: This one’s a doozy…
We get it, admitting when you’re wrong can be
super tough. But it’s a skill you’ll have to master –
learn how to say “I’m sorry.” There’s nothing
worse than someone who claims to know it all.
NONE of us can be right all of the time. So say
those two magic words when you screw up.
12. Picking And Choosing Battles Wisely: Because
not everything needs to be debated and
contested. Know when to let things go. Pointless
bickering is a buzz kill.
13. Where You’re Going To Live: Couples often
struggle with deciding where they’re going to
settle down after the wedding. The key here is to
make sure your new abode is safe and
affordable. Everything else comes after.
14. Extent Of Their Domestic Skills: Are you a great
cook? Does he know how to clean? How about the
other way around? Before you start living
together as husband and wife, you might want to
figure this out. Trust us, learning your man is a
slob once you’ve moved in will only grind your
15. Family and Friends: You can’t hope to spend the
rest of your life with someone if you don’t get
along with their family and friends. Don’t sit
around thinking it’s not a big deal. IT IS. An added
perk of getting chummy with the friends and
fam? They’ll help back you up whenever he gets
out of line.
16. Dirty Habits: We all have them. Whether it’s
biting our nails, always showing up late, or
spending way too much time on the computer,
we all come complete with our own set of quirks.
We suggest learning and coping with your
partner’s dirty habits before thinking of heading
down that aisle.
17. Perfection Is A Myth: Looking for Mr. Flawless?
He doesn’t exist. The sooner you realize that the
18. How He Treats His Mother: How he treats his
mother is a direct reflection of how he views
women. If he disrespects her on a consistent
basis, odds are, he’ll do the same to you.
19. Figure Out Your Deal Breakers: Marriage is
supposed to be “until death do us part”, which
means you can’t go running for the hills the
moment things get a little shaky. But that isn’t an
excuse to become anyone’s door mat. Figure out
your deal breakers and let your partner know
what you absolutely REFUSE to accept.
20. How Your Partner Manages Anger: You can tell
a lot about a person when they’re angry.
Sometimes their rage completely wipes away
their cool and calm facade, revealing who they
truly are. Pay very close attention in those
moments. You probably wouldn’t want to marry
someone who doesn’t know how to control their
21. Know Each Other: This sounds obvious, but you
won’t believe how many people get this wrong.
Many get so carried away by the sparkling ring
and the lavish wedding, they forget to about
learning who their partner truly is. Don’t make
10 signs you are dating a mammy water. Guys, you really should see this, No.3 will scare YOU!
Signs you are dating a mammy water: This is for all the guys who pick up random girls on the streets without knowing anything about them. Here’s how to know if you are sharing your bed with a mammy water:
- You picked her up from the street or some other random place. Maybe she was even standing in front of an uncompleted building..
- You don’t know her surname. She told you her name is “ Just Julie”..
- She agreed to sleep with you on the very first day, in fact she moved into your house, no questions asked.
- She never gets tired. She can pound yam, fry garri, grind pepper with a stone and still sleep with you when she finishes.
- She always looks perfect, even first thing in the morning. No pimples, her make-up looks permanent and everything is always in the right place.
- Her Brazilian hair looks natural. It really looks like her hair but maybe salons have found a way to remove natural hair and put it back later.
- She never talks about her family and she doesn’t have any friends. You only hear her saying “My sea sisters” sometimes at night but you’re not bothered because girls call themselves all sorts of things.
- Ever since you started sleeping with her, your life has turned upside down but of course your stepmother in the village is to blame.
- She has stopped you from eating fish. Ever since she came into your life, it’s only chicken or meat, nothing that comes from the sea.
- She doesn’t ask you for anything. In fact, she’s every Nigerian boyfriend’s dream. You don’t pay for human hair or internet subscriptions and she doesn’t even want iPhone. She doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day and you don’t even know her birthday sef. She never gets jealous or goes through your phone and she couldn’t care less about your Facebook password. In fact she’s the best!
If the girl you’re with falls into all these categories, you better wake up my guy, NA FISH SHE BE!!!
Boyfriend With These 7 Beautiful Qualities, Please Marry Him
Sometimes, the perfect guy is right in front of you and you, shrouded by all your brittle insecurities and hovering fears are reluctant to go the extra mile with him. Your past has scarred you so badly that you don’t know what to believe. You can’t seem to trust the truth in someone’s words. You think that Love is a lie and something that does not exist for everyone. Well, if you don’t believe in something, you will never be able to find it. Take a risk, it might destroy you but isn’t life all about self-destruction? People die and resurrect every day from the ashes of their past. If you have a boyfriend who does the following things, you should definitely hold on to him forever. Trust him to be the guy who touches your naked soul and makes you feel alive.
1. He fights for you at times when you don’t even want to fight for yourself
If you ever find such a guy who chooses you every day even when you think that you are not worth someone’s love, please wake up from your slumber and realize what you have before it’s too late. Sometimes people don’t believe in themselves until a certain someone starts believing in them.
2. He is your home!
What is a home? A home is not a construct; it is much more than that. Home is place where you belong. You can travel around the globe but at the end of the day you will return to that one place where you will feel safe. Some relationships have to face hardships and people have to live apart from each other. Things can become very hard and distance is detrimental for a healthy relationship. However, if you feel, in your heart that without this guy’s warm embrace, you will always feel lost, then he is your home. No distance in this world can keep you apart from each other. You have a much deeper emotional connection.
He makes you feel secure and safe around him. He makes you feel secure about your surroundings. When we are at our home, we can eat what we want, we can blabber weird stuff and we can be ourselves. When you do all those things around a guy and he still loves you then you’ve got a keeper. You should feel lucky.
3. He loves your originality
Sometimes, there are guys who will try to change you. They want you to be someone who is acceptable to the society. Someone that is acceptable to the society. They have no regard for your originality whatsoever. They just want you to be a clich and they want you to adapt yourself to the societal stereotypes.
Every person is a different person. They all have their own weird stuff and unorthodox behavior and no one should be allowed to change that. If you have a guy who accepts you for who you are and doesn’t compel you to be someone else just for the sake of acceptance from this judgmental society, he is someone you can grow with. He is someone you can put your trust in. He is not someone you just push away just because you feel that what he’s doing is real. Sometimes our whole lives turn out to be a lie because we are reluctant to accept the truth when it reveals itself.
When a relationship starts, it’s all sunshine and rainbows. There a lot of things that you don’t know about the other person. Every human has subjective curiosity but when we know about a person completely, we start to lose interest. When there’s nothing left to talk about, we get bored and the relationship just becomes a dull routine. However, if you have someone in your life whom you can share your silence with, trust me, you have something that people search for their whole lives but are never able to grasp it.
When he can talk to you with his eyes and listen to you when you’re not even uttering a word, you have finally found someone who can tolerate you for the rest of your life. You are just sitting next to each other and there is this sweet comfortable silence and you are in love with their presence, which is what true love is. Love is not about saying the right things or being a sweet talker, love transcend any logical explanation and nothing is rational about finding happiness in someone’s silence.
5. No fight or argument is stronger than the relationship
We all know that there are fights in a relationship. Everyone has their own different opinions and two people in a relationship will not always agree on everything. They are not meant to. I have met many girls who say that they love their boyfriend because he agrees with them on everything they say. That is just nonsense. There will be arguments and there will be a lot of screaming and shouting. When your boyfriend knows when to stop and is aware that if he crosses this thin line, he will do irreparable damage to your relationship and sacrifices his ego for the relationship, he truly does love you.
He doesn’t care about some small thing that incited him. He doesn’t want to verbally or emotionally abuse you ever. He apologizes to you even though it wasn’t his fault because he can’t stay mad at you for long. It is truly a beautiful thing when someone kills his own ego for the one person he loves. It is a very romantic gesture and not many people are capable of it. You should never take such a person for granted and love him with all your heart because he deserves it. He has worked for your love for years and it’s not easy for him at times and he needs your support.
6. His Love is unconditional
There is no emotional blackmail in love. When someone loves you, they accept you with all their heart. They don’t make you beg and take you for granted. If a guy loves you despite your imperfections, he knows the true meaning of love. Some people just frustrate other people without any reason.
They don’t make you feel wanted. They always give you mixed signals. Sometimes relationships are just based on lust. If the guy feels horny, he will become a whole other person and love you and entice you. He will fool you into thinking that he really does love you. However, if you don’t fulfil his sexual desires, he will pour the blame on you and make himself the victim. If a guy loves you unconditionally and isn’t just there with you for his own personal desires, he loves you more than you can imagine.
7. He makes you a part of his life
Everyone needs privacy and personal space. In a relationship, we all know that in order for our individuality to grow, we have to look after ourselves from time to time and our partner should allow that. However, we shouldn’t just disconnect our partner from everything in our lives. We shouldn’t make major decisions of our life without even consulting our partner. If a guy tries to adjust you in his life and makes an effort to make the people he loves adapt around you, he wants you with himself for a very long time. He sees a future in which you two are together. He doesn’t make major choices of his life without thinking about you.
He knows that his life choices will directly affect your life and he doesn’t want to force you into a life which wasn’t based on mutual consent. He knows that your opinion and your decisions matter as much as his and he would never take a step without taking advice from you. He knows that you are his confidant and you wouldn’t want anything that would make you two have regrets in the future. A guy who wants you for an eternity has all these qualities but most of all he has faith in you. He has faith in you when no one else really does. It’s because people don’t know you like he does.
They just know as much about you as you permit to reveal about yourself in front of them your guy knows that even if at times when you fall short, he will be there to help you out. He does not fear the struggles of life. The only thing he fears is that maybe someday you will drift away from him. Sometimes, these thoughts just pop up in his mind out of nowhere and you need to make him believe that this is not true. These are just misconceptions and you are going to prove them wrong together. Whatever it takes, you are going to face.
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