There are so many things to consider before having a
baby, so the decision process can seem a little
overwhelming at first.
But while there are some things to think about that
can wait (like whether you’ll use cloth or disposable
diapers), there are a few things to consider before
having a baby that you definitely need to think about
before you go off the Pill and start looking for an OB/
Here are 7 serious things to consider before having a
1. RELATIONSHIP: It’s been done before, but it’s
never a good idea, because it simply doesn’t
work. If you’re thinking about having a baby to
save your relationship with your significant other,
think again. Bringing a baby into an already
unsteady relationship means the fall-out from an
eventual break-up will be worse, and felt by three
people, not just two. On the other hand, if you
and your partner are in a happy, healthy
relationship, and you’re both longing to hear the
pitter-patter of tiny feet, keep reading…
2. MONEY: This question is simple at first, then it
gets more complicated — can you afford to have
a baby? The expense goes beyond a crib and
stroller and diapers and extends to taking a leave
from work, hiring a child care provider, and
possibly buying a bigger car. Think about all of
these expenses. The bottom line costs are
certainly some things to consider before having a
3. OTHER KIDS: If you have other children, it’s
important to also consider their situations before
you decide whether or not to add to their ranks.
Certainly they don’t have the final consideration,
but even more than worrying about whether or
not you can handle two or three kids in diapers
(new baby and two toddlers?), also think about
whether there’s enough of you and your spouse
to go around.
4. CAREER: The debate over women and mothers in
the workplace has raged for nearly a century, and
though many claim to be experts in both camps,
no one knows what’s better for you and your
family than you do. If you’re interested in
pursuing your career to its fullest, though, you
may want to think about the timing of having a
baby. Consider that, while you’re away on
maternity leave, your co-workers and
competitors will be there, in the office, making
progress and connections. If this thought gives
you hives, you may want to delay starting a
family… for now.
5. AGE AND HEALTH: Back in my great-
grandmother’s #time, it wasn’t uncommon for
women to have children into their 40s and 50s…
but nowadays, most of us stop in our late 30s or
early 40s. Why? Because there are a lot of health
risks that older moms face. If you’re over 40,
have a frank discussion with your doctor before
you decide for sure whether or not to get
pregnant. Your health is certainly one of the most
important things to consider before having a
6. SUPPORT SYSTEM: No matter how marvelous a
multi-tasker you are, or how good your motherly
intentions are, you’ll need help to raise a baby,
above and beyond your partner. Consider simple
things, like who will watch the baby for
occasional Date Nights, as well as more pressing
concerns, like who will provide child care if you
work outside the home.
7. LIFESTYLE: This is, in my opinion, one of the
most important things to consider before having
a baby, especially a first baby. It sounds horrible,
but any parent can tell you it’s true: your life,
while it will be so much richer and more
rewarding, will never be your own again once
you have a child. Every decision you make, for
the rest of your life, will be made with a child’s
needs in mind… so if you’re a free, independent
spirit who loves spontaneity and travel, this may
not be the time to have a baby… unless you want
to bring one with you… and why not? But your
lifestyle is something to consider, for sure.
While again, you don’t have to think about some of
the smaller issues yet, these are the main things to
consider before having a baby… once these are all
out of the way, feel free to consider the pros and
cons of breast-feeding, co-sleeping, and whether or
not you’ll need a midwife.
10 signs you are dating a mammy water. Guys, you really should see this, No.3 will scare YOU!
Signs you are dating a mammy water: This is for all the guys who pick up random girls on the streets without knowing anything about them. Here’s how to know if you are sharing your bed with a mammy water:
- You picked her up from the street or some other random place. Maybe she was even standing in front of an uncompleted building..
- You don’t know her surname. She told you her name is “ Just Julie”..
- She agreed to sleep with you on the very first day, in fact she moved into your house, no questions asked.
- She never gets tired. She can pound yam, fry garri, grind pepper with a stone and still sleep with you when she finishes.
- She always looks perfect, even first thing in the morning. No pimples, her make-up looks permanent and everything is always in the right place.
- Her Brazilian hair looks natural. It really looks like her hair but maybe salons have found a way to remove natural hair and put it back later.
- She never talks about her family and she doesn’t have any friends. You only hear her saying “My sea sisters” sometimes at night but you’re not bothered because girls call themselves all sorts of things.
- Ever since you started sleeping with her, your life has turned upside down but of course your stepmother in the village is to blame.
- She has stopped you from eating fish. Ever since she came into your life, it’s only chicken or meat, nothing that comes from the sea.
- She doesn’t ask you for anything. In fact, she’s every Nigerian boyfriend’s dream. You don’t pay for human hair or internet subscriptions and she doesn’t even want iPhone. She doesn’t care about Valentine’s Day and you don’t even know her birthday sef. She never gets jealous or goes through your phone and she couldn’t care less about your Facebook password. In fact she’s the best!
If the girl you’re with falls into all these categories, you better wake up my guy, NA FISH SHE BE!!!
Boyfriend With These 7 Beautiful Qualities, Please Marry Him
Sometimes, the perfect guy is right in front of you and you, shrouded by all your brittle insecurities and hovering fears are reluctant to go the extra mile with him. Your past has scarred you so badly that you don’t know what to believe. You can’t seem to trust the truth in someone’s words. You think that Love is a lie and something that does not exist for everyone. Well, if you don’t believe in something, you will never be able to find it. Take a risk, it might destroy you but isn’t life all about self-destruction? People die and resurrect every day from the ashes of their past. If you have a boyfriend who does the following things, you should definitely hold on to him forever. Trust him to be the guy who touches your naked soul and makes you feel alive.
1. He fights for you at times when you don’t even want to fight for yourself
If you ever find such a guy who chooses you every day even when you think that you are not worth someone’s love, please wake up from your slumber and realize what you have before it’s too late. Sometimes people don’t believe in themselves until a certain someone starts believing in them.
2. He is your home!
What is a home? A home is not a construct; it is much more than that. Home is place where you belong. You can travel around the globe but at the end of the day you will return to that one place where you will feel safe. Some relationships have to face hardships and people have to live apart from each other. Things can become very hard and distance is detrimental for a healthy relationship. However, if you feel, in your heart that without this guy’s warm embrace, you will always feel lost, then he is your home. No distance in this world can keep you apart from each other. You have a much deeper emotional connection.
He makes you feel secure and safe around him. He makes you feel secure about your surroundings. When we are at our home, we can eat what we want, we can blabber weird stuff and we can be ourselves. When you do all those things around a guy and he still loves you then you’ve got a keeper. You should feel lucky.
3. He loves your originality
Sometimes, there are guys who will try to change you. They want you to be someone who is acceptable to the society. Someone that is acceptable to the society. They have no regard for your originality whatsoever. They just want you to be a clich and they want you to adapt yourself to the societal stereotypes.
Every person is a different person. They all have their own weird stuff and unorthodox behavior and no one should be allowed to change that. If you have a guy who accepts you for who you are and doesn’t compel you to be someone else just for the sake of acceptance from this judgmental society, he is someone you can grow with. He is someone you can put your trust in. He is not someone you just push away just because you feel that what he’s doing is real. Sometimes our whole lives turn out to be a lie because we are reluctant to accept the truth when it reveals itself.
When a relationship starts, it’s all sunshine and rainbows. There a lot of things that you don’t know about the other person. Every human has subjective curiosity but when we know about a person completely, we start to lose interest. When there’s nothing left to talk about, we get bored and the relationship just becomes a dull routine. However, if you have someone in your life whom you can share your silence with, trust me, you have something that people search for their whole lives but are never able to grasp it.
When he can talk to you with his eyes and listen to you when you’re not even uttering a word, you have finally found someone who can tolerate you for the rest of your life. You are just sitting next to each other and there is this sweet comfortable silence and you are in love with their presence, which is what true love is. Love is not about saying the right things or being a sweet talker, love transcend any logical explanation and nothing is rational about finding happiness in someone’s silence.
5. No fight or argument is stronger than the relationship
We all know that there are fights in a relationship. Everyone has their own different opinions and two people in a relationship will not always agree on everything. They are not meant to. I have met many girls who say that they love their boyfriend because he agrees with them on everything they say. That is just nonsense. There will be arguments and there will be a lot of screaming and shouting. When your boyfriend knows when to stop and is aware that if he crosses this thin line, he will do irreparable damage to your relationship and sacrifices his ego for the relationship, he truly does love you.
He doesn’t care about some small thing that incited him. He doesn’t want to verbally or emotionally abuse you ever. He apologizes to you even though it wasn’t his fault because he can’t stay mad at you for long. It is truly a beautiful thing when someone kills his own ego for the one person he loves. It is a very romantic gesture and not many people are capable of it. You should never take such a person for granted and love him with all your heart because he deserves it. He has worked for your love for years and it’s not easy for him at times and he needs your support.
6. His Love is unconditional
There is no emotional blackmail in love. When someone loves you, they accept you with all their heart. They don’t make you beg and take you for granted. If a guy loves you despite your imperfections, he knows the true meaning of love. Some people just frustrate other people without any reason.
They don’t make you feel wanted. They always give you mixed signals. Sometimes relationships are just based on lust. If the guy feels horny, he will become a whole other person and love you and entice you. He will fool you into thinking that he really does love you. However, if you don’t fulfil his sexual desires, he will pour the blame on you and make himself the victim. If a guy loves you unconditionally and isn’t just there with you for his own personal desires, he loves you more than you can imagine.
7. He makes you a part of his life
Everyone needs privacy and personal space. In a relationship, we all know that in order for our individuality to grow, we have to look after ourselves from time to time and our partner should allow that. However, we shouldn’t just disconnect our partner from everything in our lives. We shouldn’t make major decisions of our life without even consulting our partner. If a guy tries to adjust you in his life and makes an effort to make the people he loves adapt around you, he wants you with himself for a very long time. He sees a future in which you two are together. He doesn’t make major choices of his life without thinking about you.
He knows that his life choices will directly affect your life and he doesn’t want to force you into a life which wasn’t based on mutual consent. He knows that your opinion and your decisions matter as much as his and he would never take a step without taking advice from you. He knows that you are his confidant and you wouldn’t want anything that would make you two have regrets in the future. A guy who wants you for an eternity has all these qualities but most of all he has faith in you. He has faith in you when no one else really does. It’s because people don’t know you like he does.
They just know as much about you as you permit to reveal about yourself in front of them your guy knows that even if at times when you fall short, he will be there to help you out. He does not fear the struggles of life. The only thing he fears is that maybe someday you will drift away from him. Sometimes, these thoughts just pop up in his mind out of nowhere and you need to make him believe that this is not true. These are just misconceptions and you are going to prove them wrong together. Whatever it takes, you are going to face.
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