How long should you date before getting married?
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In a Whatsapp chat group, there was a story about a lady who dated a guy for over ten years and then he left her for someone else. People’s responses were generally that they dated for too long. Ten years was such a long time.
Early this year, the story of a Lagos socialite who met and married a man all under a year went viral when news broke that the marriage has hit the rocks less than 10 months after the flamboyant wedding. People blamed the marriage failure on lack of enough time to get to know each other.
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This begs the question: How long should one date before getting married? LifeXtra sought people’s opinion and this is what they have to say.
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Kubura Musa, an entrepreneur, said a year is enough to court someone before marriage. She said one year is practical enough to allow one evaluate whether the partner is a strong match for the long run.
Kubura said she always worries when young couples brag about their long years of engagement.
“I feel a year is ideal for a relationship. In that one year, the couple should know if they are compatible for one another or not. Prolonging relationships without any serious reason only tells that the couple doesn’t know what they are doing or what they want,” she said.
Hauwa Katung believes between six months to a year of getting to know each other also provides the couple with ample opportunity to have important conversations about their future “but many forget to ask serious questions during that period and concentrate on ‘I love you, I cannot live without you’.”
Hauwa, who is a house wife, said she suffered such because the basic questions about her likes and her future ambition were not discussed and when she got married her husband insisted she will not work which she tried to object to but “he insisted and that’s why I am a housewife.”
She reiterated that a period of six months to a year is enough for couples to be able to know those answers to the deep rooted questions about themselves and their partners, adding that if they choose to ignore them now, they may come up later when it might be too late.
Umar Shehu, a student, says it depends on how the level of communication with the significant other progresses. He explained the time should be measured based on how well they know one another and not based on how long.
“Some are not comfortable giving out confidential details about themselves until they have studied that person and his character over a certain time. You know how deceptive people are and when you now bare your heart out to them and at the end of the day the person says they are not doing, that would be hurtful,” he said.
“So, I think as long as you feel ready and comfortable with the person, if it takes you two years, or three months to do that I think it is fine,” he added.

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Relationship

9 Questions to Ask a Girl You Are in Love With H

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9 Questions to Ask a Girl You Are in Love With  H 369f9a72d58f21bbe33134a69519df0a

9 Questions to Ask a Girl You Are in Love With

Having found your life partner in your girlfriend is one of the most amazing feeling that you would ever have. Once you begin to feel that she is the one with whom you do not mind spending your entire life with, it is inevitable that certain questions would pop up in your mind immediately.
There are many factors and dimensions that need to be addressed before moving in with your potential life partner and in order to get an informative and genuine insight, you would need to ask her multiple questions. This article is an attempt to share some of the most essential questions that you should ask her to know her inside out and to make the most beautiful and crucial decision of your life.
Close you eyes, hold your thoughts for a while and then try to imagine what would your perfect life look like to you. Try to be as elaborate as you can.
This question would essentially help you to know her better. This is, in a way, very idealistic question – a question that would help you in determining what kind of personality does your girlfriend entails.
Moreover, it would assist you in comparing your own ideals of a perfect life with hers and you shall be hopefully able to decide whether this is the woman with whom you can envisage your entire life.
What are your life goals and ambitions? Would you want to work in the future or do you feel that a domestic life is ideal for you?
Well, this is one of the most important questions. Frame it wisely and in accordance with the mood and the disposition of your girlfriend. Knowing about her future goals would help you in estimating your future life with her.
Whether the girl is oriented towards having a sharp edge in the business or is she more favorable to staying at home tells a lot about your compatibility with her.
You will know if your girlfriend’s frequency matches with you and you can accordingly take your relationship further.
What, according to you, are the responsibilities of a woman in a relationship?
This again is a very important question to be put forward to your girlfriend. Ask her, very gently and of course very vaguely, about her perspectives on the role of woman in a relationship.
Try to figure out from her answer her own disposition with you in the coming years. You would also know if she is going to prove a nagging partner or an understanding one. Additionally, you can get a fair idea about her expectations from a relationship.
You would also know if she is going to prove a nagging partner or an understanding one. Additionally, you can get a fair idea about her expectations from a relationship.
For how long did your last relationship last and what was the reason for your breakup? What aspect of his personality was most likable/ unlikable for you?
Okay, guys! First and foremost, there is no point feeling envious about their last boyfriends because you too had your share of past relationships.
Listen to your girlfriend carefully and try to understand her definition of an ideal relationship. You would also know how well can she sustain relationships and what are the absolute turn offs for her when it comes to life partners.
You would also know how well can she sustain relationships and what are the absolute turn offs for her when it comes to life partners.
Have you ever betrayed anyone in relationships? What were the reasons?
Take note that this is one of the most serious questions and might offend her if asked out of context. Find a suitable time to ask her this question because well, as uncomfortable as it might be for her, this is an important question.
You will gather from her response whether she is a stable person or not, whether she is a habitual cheater or circumstances compelled her to be an infidel. You can make your move after knowing her personalities well.
How much time did you use to spend with your ex-boyfriends? Do you think you would have wanted to have them around less/more often?
This question will tell you whether your girlfriend and potential life partner for long term commitments would prefer having you around almost always or would she like to have her own space as well.
The frequency with which she used to meet with her ex-boyfriends would also prepare you mentally to invest that amount of time with her in the relationship.
How often would you like to engage in sexual intimacy with your partner? What are your expectations from him on sexual parameters?
Needless to say, sex comprises a very important foundation of any romantic relationship.
If the two people are sexually compatible, it could result in a wonderfully strong relationship.
It is hence necessary to know her expectations from her partner and you can calculate in your mind whether you are capable or fulfilling those expectations.
What do you do to rejuvenate yourself when you are stressed?
This question sounds very random and could be asked on a casual date. However, this is again one of the most significant things to know about your girlfriend. After all, if you are interested in her, it is your responsibility to know what makes her happy and how does she manage stress so that you could be by her side efficiently when she would need you.
Which movie/ TV Series you love the most?
We ask this question to our friends as well so knowing the same about your potential life partner is not a bad idea at all. Moreover, it will give you ample hints to know how can you set her mood alright if ever, she is angry at you. You would also get an idea about her sense of humor and her general taste when it comes to entertainment this way.Won’t this information help you in making your consequent dates more engaging and interesting? Absolutely!
You would also get an idea about her sense of humor and her general taste when it comes to entertainment this way.Won’t this information help you in making your consequent dates more engaging and interesting? Absolutely!
SO, these are only a few of the hundred of questions that you can/must ask your girlfriend in order to know her and love her better. Of course, she would realize that you do deeply care about her and are interested in her life details. This would certainly make your bond stronger and would give you the assurance of wonderful and healthy long term relationship in the times to come. Good luck guys!

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Relationship

Never you marry anyone with this behavior. Do not rush into marriage

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Never you marry anyone with this behavior. Do not rush into marriage Never you marry anyone with this behavior. Do not rush into marriage 79ccc373 court 696x521

Never you marry anyone with this behavior. Do not rush into marriage.

Everything in life must not boil down to marriage do not say “HA John is getting married so I have to marry or Lynda is getting married so for that reason I have to marry, take your time so that you won’t make the wrong choice, never you manage to marry. Marriage is a sacred relationship and also a lifetime commitment, I advice you to take your time when choosing your life partner and know that even though you don’t marry when your mate are getting married that doesn’t make you less a human, remember your destiny and that of your friend or colleague are not the same so never you compare yourself with anyone. Look out for these signs to avoid making a lifetime mistake.
Never you marry someone you can’t crack joke with.
Never you marry someone who can’t own up to their mistakes.
Never you marry someone who can’t apologize when they make mistakes.
Never you marry someone who doesn’t contribute to your life either financially, morally, spiritually or otherwise.
Never you marry someone who is full of his or herself.
Never you manage to marry.
Never you marry someone who doesn’t value you.
Girls never you marry a man who beat you up, that kind of person can never stop beating you.
Boys never you marry a girl who doesn’t respect you.
Never you marry a sex addict if you know you can’t keep up.
Never you rush into marriage so that you won’t rush out of it.
Remember marriage is a sacred bond and divorce is never an option, never you forget to include God in your decision making.

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