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21 Things You Need to Know Before Getting Engaged

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There are so many of us who dream about walking
down the aisle as our Prince Charming lovingly stares
into our eyes. In the midst of the fantasy, we tend to
forget real life isn’t as picture perfect as our pretty
lace dress.

The truth? Happy endings aren’t something we
happen to stumble upon. They’re a product of
devotion and unfaltering diligence. There’s just no
such thing as a short cut to wedded bliss.
If you’re not fully prepared for the trials and
tribulations of marriage, you might eventually find
yourself in the throes of a divorce court. And believe
us – it isn’t a bed of roses.

So before you even THINK about getting engaged,
here are 21 things you NEED to know about you and
your other half.

1. Your Partner’s Religious Beliefs: No matter
whether you’re religious or not, it’s always
important to know where you and your partner
stand when it comes to faith. Where does your
partner fall on the religious spectrum? Do their
beliefs align with yours? How do you feel about
their religious outlook? These are the important
questions you need to ask yourself before
accepting his proposal. If you don’t, things could
get rocky later on.

2. Thoughts On Political Issues: If you’re more of
a liberal gal while he skews conservative, give
that some serious thought. Sure, it’s true that
opposites attract. However, that doesn’t mean
you’ll have lasting power. When it comes to hard-
hitting political issues, being on opposing sides
can cause serious friction. It’s up to you to decide
if your relationship and possible marriage can
withstand the strife.

3. Career Goals: Two people who possess two
different levels of ambition can spell trouble in
the future. Know where the other is hoping to go
career-wise to avoid being disappointed and
possibly resentful later on. Sometimes people
feel threatened by a go-getter partner. If either
one of you fit the bill, handle that – stat.

4. Relationship History: In order to successfully
move forward, you have to know where your
partner came from. This definitely includes past
relationships. You want to make sure there aren’t
any bad relationship habits lingering. Aside from
that, it’s nice to get a clear understanding of why
things didn’t work out with their exes.

5. If/When You’ll Have Children: Something to
keep in mind: not everyone wants to have
children. Find out if your partner is hoping to
have a family of their own and when they plan on
making it happen. A topic of this magnitude
should be broached ASAP.

6. Spending Habits: Is your partner good with
money? Does he/she spend money on frivolous
things, leaving no cash to pay rent and bills?
That’s a MAJOR red flag.

7. It’s NOT just a huge party: Yes, the wedding
planning can be exciting (albeit stressful). But the
marriage itself is NOT a huge party that
concludes with endless sleepovers. Sh*t gets real
super fast. So be prepared!

8. You WILL Disagree… and that’s OK. You’re two
individuals trying to merge into one; it’s bound to
result in quite a few arguments. While there’s no
denying how stressful that can be, it’s not the end
of the world OR your relationship. The key is
knowing that the conflict needs to be resolved
and not swept under the rug.

9. It’s Okay To Still Have A Life Outside Of Each
Other: Never allow either one of you to lose sight
of who you are. Your monthly lunch with the
girls? Keep that going. Him having a beer with his
boys every now and then? A necessity. Don’t try
to stifle your partner’s “me” time. That’s a major
no-no.

10. The Ring Doesn’t Make You His Boss: To
expand on our previous point, you shouldn’t ever
aim to control anyone, especially not the person
you plan to spend the rest of your life with.
Having a ring doesn’t make you his boss. He’s still
entitled to his own thoughts, opinions, and
livelihood (and vice versa).

11. When To Say You’re Sorry: This one’s a doozy…
We get it, admitting when you’re wrong can be
super tough. But it’s a skill you’ll have to master –
learn how to say “I’m sorry.” There’s nothing
worse than someone who claims to know it all.
NONE of us can be right all of the time. So say
those two magic words when you screw up.

12. Picking And Choosing Battles Wisely: Because
not everything needs to be debated and
contested. Know when to let things go. Pointless
bickering is a buzz kill.

13. Where You’re Going To Live: Couples often
struggle with deciding where they’re going to
settle down after the wedding. The key here is to
make sure your new abode is safe and
affordable. Everything else comes after.

14. Extent Of Their Domestic Skills: Are you a great
cook? Does he know how to clean? How about the
other way around? Before you start living
together as husband and wife, you might want to
figure this out. Trust us, learning your man is a
slob once you’ve moved in will only grind your
gears.

15. Family and Friends: You can’t hope to spend the
rest of your life with someone if you don’t get
along with their family and friends. Don’t sit
around thinking it’s not a big deal. IT IS. An added
perk of getting chummy with the friends and
fam? They’ll help back you up whenever he gets
out of line.

16. Dirty Habits: We all have them. Whether it’s
biting our nails, always showing up late, or
spending way too much time on the computer,
we all come complete with our own set of quirks.
We suggest learning and coping with your
partner’s dirty habits before thinking of heading
down that aisle.

17. Perfection Is A Myth: Looking for Mr. Flawless?
He doesn’t exist. The sooner you realize that the
better.

18. How He Treats His Mother: How he treats his
mother is a direct reflection of how he views
women. If he disrespects her on a consistent
basis, odds are, he’ll do the same to you.

19. Figure Out Your Deal Breakers: Marriage is
supposed to be “until death do us part”, which
means you can’t go running for the hills the
moment things get a little shaky. But that isn’t an
excuse to become anyone’s door mat. Figure out
your deal breakers and let your partner know
what you absolutely REFUSE to accept.

20. How Your Partner Manages Anger: You can tell
a lot about a person when they’re angry.
Sometimes their rage completely wipes away
their cool and calm facade, revealing who they
truly are. Pay very close attention in those
moments. You probably wouldn’t want to marry
someone who doesn’t know how to control their
anger.

21. Know Each Other: This sounds obvious, but you
won’t believe how many people get this wrong.
Many get so carried away by the sparkling ring
and the lavish wedding, they forget to about
learning who their partner truly is. Don’t make
that mistake.

Abass Sulaiman Adegoke, well known as Adegoke is a student of Federal Polytechnic Ede studying Civil Engineering, He is a media enthusiast, loves traveling, and has a special interest in personal development.

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